RTFM

All night long I have had an immensely strong craving for semi-pulpy orange juice. I must find some.

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I was in an Avatar-esque video game type of world. There were no monsters or blue people, just humans at a training facility/campus.

It was my job. I was just hired on and was going through my instruction manual. It was as thick as a phone book and I was getting bored with it so I lied and said I had read it all. Next thing I know, I'm on a flying ship and we are still doing basic training. First step, float around in space and learn how to navigate with only your own body. I am so anxious to jump out of the ship that I forget my breathing mask. I jump out with no oxygen mask on and immediately try to swim back to the ship. I hold my breath and try to push my body back. It's too far and I'm not moving fast enough so my body instinctively begins to grasp for air where my brain knows there isn't any. I pass out and see my body (in third person) drift back into the cargo part of the ship.

I wake up back in the training facility. I decide to read more of the instruction manual. I notice a co-worker from my real job sitting next to me doing a higher rank worksheet, or taking notes or studying. I ask him for help and he gives me words of encouragement. He scoots over next to me and helps me understand the manual. Now there is a tour group coming around. I wonder what my commander would say if she saw me next to him and then I decide that I don't care.

I'm now at another obstacle for training. It is a platform with lines and cris-crosses all over the floor. Another trainee jumps and dodges over the lines and I notice that the lines indicate where motion triggered lasers will come down. She dances through them with ease, demonstrating to a far off tour group. I decide to try next, just for fun. I jump over two and then as I'm trying to exit the platform I went too quickly through two lasers. I underestimated how close together they were. One cut my middle finger off and the other made a deep gash through my arm. It hurt, but it was a quick sensation, no blood. The other girl sees this and she suggests I get a new clone before we go on our next training session because if someone notices that I have 4 fingers, they will be really mad. I agree with this and head off to the cloning place.

It's a huge white building, it looks very similar to the White House but it is smaller. There are butlers running around and tediously polished, white marble floors. I try to hide my hand and pulling my sleeve down to hide my arm. A butler asks me where I'm going. I lie and say that my commander asked me to get a new clone. He asks for my permission slip, I didn't have one.

I am overcome with the feeling that I am not good enough and I wonder why I can't do any of the things the other recruits could.

Shinning, Shimmering, Splendid

I just got back to LA from my Houston holiday vacation. I like the airport. People surprise me sometimes. Rarely, but sometimes. I need a new sketchbook.

There was a man who had a Texas themed merchandise cart near the gate I was waiting at. He was stout and waddled with a heavy southern accent. Normally, I've noticed people working at those kiosks look so angry and bitter but not this guy. He greeted everyone as they walked buy, if they were looking or not and smiled happily in their direction. He struck up small conversations with the other airport employees as they went by and just kept on smiling. His enthusiasm made me smile as well. One lady got up from where she was sitting and sat somewhere else. The man noticed a wallet left on the floor and went one by one to everyone sitting around my gate asking if it was theirs, until the lady who was previously sitting there claimed it. People who love what they do no matter what it is make the world a better place.

Peeking through the gaps between airplane seats I saw a girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old sitting in front of me on my flight back to LA. Even though I dislike children, she was adorable, as adorable as a little girl could be. She was watching a Disney DVD on a laptop or something similar, princesses with high-pitched voices dancing around the screen. We started our decent into LAX. She turned for a brief moment away from the princesses and opened the window blind. She said "Daddy! I can see the world!" as her eyes widened, her voice quieted, "I can see it... down there."

On a tight leash

I had two small dogs on leashes. One was white and one was grey. I named the white one "Asparagus" but I kept forgetting his name and calling him "Pickles," he corrected me every time and was getting frustrated. The grey one was named "Pirate." I was taking them for a walk and we got to a big grassy area in front of my house. I told them to pee before we go inside. They were not dogs, they were bunnies and they were hopping around and peeing every time they landed a hop. They were jumping all over each other and jumping around me, I was getting tangled in the leashes. I said "OK Pickles, let's go home now" and he frowned at me and said "Asparagus."

---

For some reason I decided to rob a gaming/hobby store. I wasn't doing a good job of being stealthy, since I thought it was a bad idea the entire time. I broke into the store and it was a mess in there, maybe they were packing up or moving, I don't know. I grabbed a box of Magic cards and some card protectors. That was all I took. I looked up in the camera in the corner and really didn't want to go to jail. I ran off. I was keeping an eye on the store from a distance to watch the police when they came. I realized that I had looked directly into the camera and probably left my fingerprints over everything. I still had no idea why I did that and I really didn't want to go to jail. I notice my friend standing outside the store, subtly trying to look for me, I guess he knew I was there. He was going to take out his phone and call me. I wanted him to leave because he looked suspicious.

---

I was at a school where we had to wear uniforms. I was walking through the campus watching everyone else walk around or play catch or study.

Swept away by the wind.

I was in class, we were in small groups collaborating on what kind of game we were going to develop for our project. It was either break time, or class was over so everyone was going outside. I walked outside of the building and started walking down a side street. Every corner I turned I was greeted by more of the beautiful Victorian architecture that could only come from one place, Savannah, Georgia. I followed all of the traffic laws while I was walking around, I never went the wrong way down a one way street. It was time to head back so I turned down the corner of the nearest street (going south) and a very strong wind was blowing north. It was very animated, the way I saw myself standing there. I was making a very scrunched face to brace from the wind and I had one leg out at about a 90 degree angle getting ready to take a step. I couldn't take a step in that direction so I had to go around and avoid streets going that way until I made it back.

I was at my house now, or a place I recognized as my house. I think I was playing Warcraft on my laptop, but it was being projected on the wall, to scale. I was kind of in a daze and I moved my monitor (which coincidentally controlled where the projection was on the wall) around until the image was taking up the entire wall and ceiling and was totally distorted. I laid down on my back, laptop still in my lap and just stared dreamily at it until someone started talking to me.

It was someone I knew, a roommate I guess, she wanted to show me something in the backyard. We walked through the back door and she shows me a new wooden play set that she had put together. I was ecstatic! For some reason I went back inside.

A while later, I went back outside to get a better look at our backyard, this place seemed new to me (maybe I had just moved there?). When I went outside this time, everything was moved around from the last time I was here (maybe a few hours ago). There was a new wooden play set in place of the other one, this one was stained with a very dark wood stain. The set I had previously seen was moved to another area of the yard, now with oranges growing on it, oranges growing on vines, vines entangled around the wood. I look at the far end of the yard and I see all of my college friends in swimsuits, eating pizza and playing around on a little kid's water slide (nothing out of the ordinary). I walk closer to the oranges, the taste of oranges forms on my taste buds as I near them. The oranges growing here are huge! As I round the corner of the wooden trellis, the oranges are bigger and bigger. The ones on the far side are nearly a foot in diameter. I ask out loud "How did these oranges get so big?" but no one responded.

I reach out my hand to touch them.

Banana suit

I was jogging, early in the morning around a neighborhood. I was feeling good about myself for actually taking the time to excersize. I looked at the time and saw I was already late for work so I tried to sprint the way back to my apartment. It was really difficult because I was out of shape.

---

I was walking with a friend on a path, down a hill. There were lots of trees around, like a park. We were going to class/work/somewhere. My friend Dave was walking in front of me about 100 feet away. I wanted to catch up with him, but the faster I went, the faster he went. My friend was also trying to catch up with him so she got on her bike. He got on his bike, seemingly out of nowhere, and was still ahead. Now I could no longer keep pace with either of them. I continued walking on the path in a faster than normal walk.

I notice two of my friends on the same bike. This was a very unusual bike. The person in front had one big wheel and the other person had two smaller wheels, even further back was another wheel with a set of training wheels attached. They are having difficulty trying to ride this bike. The wheels are turning sideways since they are not level, they are turning sideways because the bike is not level and it was very entertaining to watch. I think the bike had orange on it. The wheels also looked as if they were from 3-4 different bikes.

---

I was at a very small vinyl toy convention. There were only a handful of booths in a moderately sized lobby of an office building. I was browsing around, when I saw some friends buying toys from a specific booth so I headed in that direction. The lady who was selling the toys was a young-for-her-age 40 year old woman with blonde hair and a kind of motherly aura about her. As I was walking up to the booth, I heard my friends say "Thanks, Mum!" and walk off to their next purchases. I went over there and said Hi to her and she came out from behind her booth, I guess she was taking a break. We go to sit down at the tables provided and she talks to me like we are good friends. She tells me that her favorite designer is DOMA and I agree.

A group of 4-5 people enter through the glass double doors and they are dressed as different trademark DOMA designs. I instantly regret not bringing my new camera and pull out my cell phone and ask Mum to take a picture of me with them. Three of the costumed people head off to the other side of the room but one of them sees that I wanted to take a picture and comes over to me. He is very attractive from what I can see and he gets behind me so we can pose for the picture. He hugs me, and I get overwhelmed because he is so close and is holding me tightly. A feeling rushes through me and then Mum takes the picture. I say thank you, and he goes off to find the other dressed up people. Mum and I start to head out of the lobby, and I turn around to see if I can make eye contact with the guy again, All I see is a girl dressed in a graphically stylized banana suit. She is wearing white tights and black heels. Her face isn't visible and she is dancing and talking to a group of people she knows.

I've got a haunch

I was walking on a beach towards an ancient stone city. There was an open air market going on and I was browsing the goods of goblins, gnomes and other fantastic creatures. I was extremely overwhelmed by all of the handcrafted jewelry, trinkets, armor and weaponry. I wanted to buy everything.

I noticed that I had started rising off the ground. I turned to look over my shoulder and saw wings emerging and stretching out to their full wingspan. Small, light grey down feathers were floating to the ground. My wings were different shades of smoke. They beat slowly and were still carrying me upwards. I was still in shock and did not know how to control them, so I quickly became tangled in the branches of a nearby tree. It was extremely uncomfortable and I was struggling, but eventually I got the hang of it and flew out of the tree.

It still seemed like my wings were deciding where to go and I was just following. They took me up higher and higher until I noticed that I was scaling the walls of a seemingly infinite stone tower. I passed through the first layer of clouds and landed on an open area of the tower. There was nothing but stone over hangs and walls going into different corridors. The tower was cylindrical and maybe about fifty feet in diameter. It was not a live-able place, it's existence was for another reason.

I was walking around the floor of the tower, trying to find out why I had come here, when I notice that I am not alone. There is a woman up there who I seem to recognize. She gives me a very worn, thick, leather bound book. As soon as I open the book, it begins to rain. While I'm skimming through the pages, the woman tells me that I need to get in touch with the magic inside me. She says that there is a war about to be unleashed on the land and I must go rally the different races of the world to fight against the oncoming evil.

The woman says that all of the merchants from the market have started preparing themselves for the war and that the gnomes were on their way. I must quickly try to convince the giants and the humans to help before it is too late. She hands me a map pointing out where the humans and the giants dwell. I unfurl my wings and set off to "Unicorn Isle," land of the giants, with spell book and map in hand. A girl, a friend, is following me.

We arrive in a place that is barren and smokey. The sand and the broken mountains are all shades of red and orange. There is a haze everywhere. We spot an "island" where it seems the rubble has been assembled into Stonehenge-like formations. My friend tells me that is where the giants are. We head over there and something in the back of my head reminds me that I should not let the giants know that I am magical because they will feel inferior and get angry. The girl tells me that she needs to get something out of a lock box that is being guarded by the giants and that I will need to distract them while she picks the lock.

We land in the midst of the giants, who are maybe about 10 feet tall with pale skin, a lot of flesh and little clothing. They are more like ogres to me. They do not seem to be phased by our intrusion. My friend eyes the lock box and I struggle for something to do. I cannot pull out my spell book because the giants will see, I dig deep into my memory and remember something from when I was quickly skimming the spell book. The only spell I know is how to conjure a haunch of meat. Luckily for me, these giants love haunches of meat. I stand behind a pillar and conjure one and offer it to one of the giants and lure him away from the box. I keep conjuring haunches of meat for the giants, mainly because it is the only thing I can do. I look in my peripheral vision at my friend, who has successfully gotten the item out of the box and closed it. The meat is enough to convince the giants to help, they like me now. I tell them to prepare for war and head to the beach.

I fly off to rally the humans, while the girl goes back to the tower with the item.

I arrive at what looks to be a very industrial, metal and concrete area. Everything is very military-esque in color and appearance. There is a cylindrical building near where I have landed, but I cannot see anyone inside of it. I notice another building on a platform of the same style. I observe from afar for a while. It seems that the humans are doing some sort of ceremony or send-off. All of them are middle to late aged white males, dressed in army green military uniforms that have hints of dark, saturated red. Maybe some red stars. (I remember red stars on green) They are all happy and smiling. I walk over to one man who looks to be in charge and he tells me of their recent military accomplishments and is very happy to see me. He pats me on the back and enthusiastically agrees to help in the war. He will have his men there as soon as he can. They will march the entire way to the beach.

I arrive back at the tower where it is beginning to storm, lightning and all. I can see something dark coming through the clouds.

My alarm goes off, I tried desperately to fall back asleep. I wanted to see if I won. I wanted to keep fighting and lead them to victory. I guess I'll never know.

Return Policy

I was in a mall with a large tote bag. I was leaning with my back against the wall, tote over my shoulder and netbook in hand. I was opening my netbook and the screen kept tilting backwards, there was no resistance. It just kept tilting all the way back even if I repositioned it. I looked in my tote and I had the receipts for it so I closed the netbook, put it in my tote and kept on walking.
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I was on a full school bus of people, sitting next to my friend. My friend was holding a huge bouquet of flowers. Hidden throughout the bouquet were fake butterflies on sticks. There was a monarch among them and it caught my eye. I reached for it and the entire bouquet wilted instantly. The flowers were not dead, but they all drooped over. My friend looked at me in disappointment. An athletic built guy who was a few seats up and across from us had a huge book of CD's splayed out across his lap. He picked up an "Nsync" CD and said "here this might cheer you up." He had a CD player and headphones on but instead he put his finger through the center of the CD and used the other hand to spin the CD really fast on his finger. He then used his index finger from the other hand to play the song with his nail. It played quit playing games with my heart (Is that really NSync? hell if I know).
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